The Villagers Load the Cannons with Mayonnaise

Mavis half-expected it to collapse, but it stood intact.

Everyone hesitated, before following the elf. Mavis and Walter rode their horses onto it and marched on.

Any normal bridge would have collapsed under such weight, but this one hardly shook as hundreds of people marched onto it, filling the air with the clip-clop of horses’ hooves and the shuffle of feet.

Finally, they reached the other side. As the last person crossed over, the bridge disappeared, and all the sparks were gone.

Mavis looked around. They were in the marshland again. The mud came all the way up to Star’s knees and made a slushing sound that was almost welcoming. It was dark outside, so Mavis’ eyes didn’t have to adjust to the light, which would have taken a while. Behind her, was the mouth of the cave which led into the dark abyss.

They trudged on in the cool mud. Star and Peanut Butter somehow didn’t seem tired even after so much walking. It was actually refreshing for them to be outside again, after spending such a long time underground. They finally got a chance to stretch their legs.

Mavis had already been sleeping for a long time. So even though it was the middle of the night, she wasn’t a bit sleepy. She watched the full moon shining with all its might, making everything bright for them to see.

They walked on for some time, then they suddenly stopped. Mavis looked up. Her breath was taken away when she saw the magnificent sight of the giants’ palace towering above them all. Its stone bricks gleamed in the moonlight and shone in a silvery-white colour. It looked so beautiful that Mavis could imagine why the giants worked so hard to get it back from the humans.

There was a silence as everyone stared at the huge palace, mesmerised.

The silence was broken when Thina said, ‘Let’s get a move on, shall we?’

As planned, the army began to split up, forming a huge circle around the palace. If the humans looked down from it, they would see the army clearly, since it was a full moon night. But then, this was a rare case seeing that it was the middle of the night.

Their plan was to surround the entire palace. A few of them would get into the palace and attack the people on the inside. The others would attack from outside.

Mavis, Walter and a small party were to sneak inside. They all gulped down hover ivy leaves to be able to fly up and get onto the roof. They would leave the horses and Snowdrop down to attack from outside

The party flew up onto the roof on their horses. They landed soundlessly there. They all quietly walked up to the flight of steps on the roof, leading down into the palace. These, of course, were giant-sized, so they had to fly down.

After they’d reached the bottom, to their dismay, there was a locked door that they needed to open to get inside.

‘What will we do?’ asked an elf.

‘Why, blast it down!’ said Mavis. She pulled Spark out and blasted it down. It sent up a lot of dust and debris. Everyone started coughing.

‘Mavis, next time you need to tell us to step back,’ gasped Walter.

‘You should have the brains to do it on your own.’

They stepped into the palace. The ceiling was so high that it could have fitted a dozen elephants, all standing on top of each other–though I’m not sure why they would do that. The corridor stretched far beyond what they could see. It may not have been like that for the giants, but everyone groaned slightly at the thought of walking all the way to the other end.

They walked silently so that no one would hear, through the long corridor. Finally, they reached a point where it forked in two.

‘We must attack from all possible ways,’ declared Mavis. ‘We’ll have to split up.

‘But we’re already so less in number,’ protested an Olf.

‘And the humans are off guard,’ countered Mavis.

‘All right,’ said Walter. ‘There are sixteen of us. Eight will go through either corridor.’ And he quickly split them up. He and Mavis were in different groups so that they could help the Olves and elves.

‘Now listen,’ said Mavis, ‘don’t give your battle cries now. We don’t want to alert the humans. Just run down the corridor and attack any human you see. When they all know you’re there, I guess there’s no point in being silent; you can yell then.’

The soldiers didn’t seem so keen on the idea of not yelling at the start, but they agreed because they had no time for arguments.

Mavis and the other eight warriors with her nervously made their way through one of the corridors, and Walter and the others walked down the other.

The silence was sickening for Mavis. Usually, silence was peaceful and calming. But now, it made a chill run down her spine because she didn’t know what was in front of her. Not that it mattered. She would die anyway. As she was absorbed in her own thoughts, she didn’t realise that someone was standing not far from her. He was hiding behind a pillar.

Suddenly, he sprang out, holding a rifle in his hands.

The party was too stunned to react. The man shot a bullet at Mavis. She gave a startled gasp and leapt out of the way just in time. The bullet brushed past her ear and hit a wall.

The Olves and elves clutched their ears in pain, for the sound of a gun being fired is deafening, and Mrindawians had never heard anything this loud.

Mavis took matters into her own hands. She blasted Spark at him, and the force knocked him off his feet. He flew backwards and hit a wall. He dropped unconscious.

Suddenly, there was a tremendous crash. The drawbridge had been crashed down with the cannons by the giants. That meant the rest of the army had begun to attack.

Unfortunately, the sudden noise had woken up all the humans. They ran out of their rooms, all clutching rifles in their hands. The Mrindawians that had come with Mavis were trembling. There were so many guns!

‘Yeah, you can give your battle cries now,’ muttered Mavis.

Walter breathlessly shot someone down. He held his hand up, and the arrow reappeared in it. This was probably the most confusing war in history. With the Mrindawians charging from both inside and outside, no one could tell what was going on.

The humans appeared to have quite a lot of people and they never seemed to give up. Not to mention the dragons, who kept eating Mrindawian soldiers. That was annoying. But the Vikings and trolls had not appeared. Knowing it was the Mrindawians who would win, they had clearly deserted them.

Snowdrop was of some help. She breathed her magic at a whole lotta humans. And somehow, she knew who to attack, unlike the humans’ dragons who didn’t hesitate to eat the humans up. It probably had something to do with not being hypnotised.

Just then, Walter heard a familiar voice. ‘Walter, is that you?’ It was Mavis. ‘Oh good,’ she said, sounding relieved. ‘You’re still alive. Hey, have you seen Godge anywhere?’

‘No, why?’

‘Because I was just thinking: if we defeat the army commander, won’t the rest of the humans be easy to defeat?’

Walter raised an eyebrow. He could tell that wasn’t all. Mavis probably wanted revenge on the Olf. She probably hated him more than even he did. She was the one who had trusted him the most, after all, only to be betrayed.

Just then, there was the blare of a horn. Everyone looked up, to see an army approaching on the horizon, the orange rising sun behind them.

‘Oh, we’re saved,’ said Mavis; ‘it’s the Villagers.’ She didn’t sound that enthusiastic. The last time they’d met the Villagers, they clearly could see that they would not stand a chance at war.

The army came charging towards them at top speed. The humans turned pale for a moment, realising that the giants probably had far more allies than they had expected. Just as the Mrindawians had proud looks on their faces, the people at the front of the army stumbled over. The ones behind them tripped over them, and the whole army fell over.

The humans blinked in surprise, then started fighting again, and the whole battlefield was no longer silent.

‘Well, it’s better than nothing,’ Walter sighed.

The army of the Villagers was now back on their feet. They rushed towards the battlefield again, and this time, were more successful. The humans hardly cared. These strange people were unfit for war! What difference did they make? Well, it turned out they had underestimated the Villagers.

‘CONFETTI!’ bellowed the king of the Villagers.

Mavis wondered if this was some kind of prank. If it was, it wasn’t a really good one. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

The Villagers produced three pink cannons and tilted them towards the battlefield. Before anyone could react, the cannons were fired. Mavis expected a huge iron ball to come hurtling towards her, but nothing happened.

She looked around and was surprised to see that all the humans were covered head-to-toe in brightly coloured confetti and glitter. Before the humans could process what had just happened, the confetti and glitter were fired again from the cannons. And it was fired again and again repeatedly. Somehow, the glitter and confetti never hit the Mrindawians (which was a relief). The cannons were fired and never seemed to stop. Finally, the confetti was finished.

‘Yep, that would be all now,’ said the King, patting one of the cannons.

The humans, who were now the pieces of attraction, stood stunned for a moment. They couldn’t believe what had just happened. They weakly lifted their swords again, and the battle continued.

The Villagers didn’t fight like how the rest fought. Instead of swords or bows, they picked up sticks and chased humans around, before throwing them at them. The cannons were fired again, but this time not with confetti and glitter. The Villagers found huge amounts of mayonnaise in the palace, which the humans used to add on top of their burgers.

The Villagers grabbed the bottles of mayonnaise and loaded the cannons. Before they knew it, the humans were covered head-to-toe in the dressing.

‘TASTE THE SAUCE!’ one of the Villagers screamed.

Although the way the Villagers fought was ridiculous, they weren’t bad at it. They kept grabbing ketchup bottles and spraying at the humans, or producing horses, setting them free, and watching them run around, bumping into the humans. One of them even set fire to a stick, and ran around, scaring humans away by waving it in the air.

Star and Peanut Butter went flying around, hopping on top of humans, and making them stumble over. They also took to flying through the battle and knocking them over with their wings.

Finally, as noon approached, everyone was exhausted. The humans weren’t, though. They had a steady supply of food from the palace, and they kept exchanging warriors so that everyone could get rest.

The Mrindawians started to retreat. Not because they were losing, of course, but because they needed rest.

So, the army marched away back to their cave. In the Wasteland, since there were barely any trees, the sun was beating hard on them and they were exhausted. But they continued marching on till they reached their cave.

They hurriedly ran inside, entering the dark abyss.

‘There doesn’t happen to be a lever around here somewhere?’ asked Mavis.

King Antaniama nodded and showed them a lever on the wall. He pulled it hard, and the bridge appeared.

‘Oh, how lovely!’ said the king of the Villagers.

They quickly ran over the bridge to the other side. As they stepped off, the bridge disappeared. They were welcomed warmly by the hover ivy.

‘Well, I’ve been preparing for this,’ it said with a nasty smile. ‘What is time?’

Everyone was speechless. What time was, everyone knew. But how to explain what it was, no one knew.

Well, almost everyone.

‘The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole,’ answered Walter

Everyone stared at him.

‘H-how–?’ gasped Mavis.

‘I read the dictionary for fun,’ he muttered. ‘Can we go now?’

The ivy seemed reluctant, but parted to let them in.

They rushed down the tunnel, into the underground chamber, where they were greeted by Alpha, Ruby and the biberesanguinemo. Alpha woofed and hopefully sniffed Mavis for horse treats. But with Snowdrop and the horses in competition, everyone only got one itty-bitty piece each, and the treats were over.

The Villagers looked disgusted to see the pile of skeletons lying in a corner, but they tried not to complain.

Everyone hungrily wolfed up their share of rations, before lying down to rest. They got some sleep for an hour or so, then they were woken up because the giants didn’t want to give time for the humans to recover.

When everyone was awake, Thina said: ‘I’m afraid the humans are on guard now. They are waiting with their armies in front of the palace. A spy was sent out and has seen this.’

Everyone shuffled uneasily, knowing that this was terrible news.

‘But,’ continued the giant, ‘we still have an advantage. We may not outnumber them, but we can still attack with all our might till the Kingdom of the Tribes come. Then, the Kingdom of the Mountain Elves. Till then, we can keep a small camp near the battlefield with our rations and beds for wounded soldiers, so that we can continue war without having to retreat.’

‘That sounds like a good idea,’ said Walter. ‘We can keep exchanging soldiers so that everyone will get rest.’

The army marched out through the tunnel and was asked a riddle by the ivy. After successfully answering it, they entered the abyss. They quickly pulled the lever and created the bridge, which they immediately crossed over.

The giants held bundles of their rations–or what was left of it–in their huge hands. The others carried nothing but their weapons, which they warily clutched in their hands, expecting a sudden attack.

Luckily, no harm came to them until they reached the palace, where the human army was waiting for them.

‘You have five minutes to surrender!’ the humans hollered.

‘Wait–we were going to say the same thing! You have five minutes to surrender to us!’

‘But our army is far stronger than yours!’

‘Is not.’

‘Is.’

‘Not.’

‘Is.’

And the Mrindawians and the humans’ argument went on and on, never seeming to stop. That is, till Mavis screamed: ‘EXPLOITERS! You have already chopped down forests and forests of trees in the future, and built huge factories! Now you want to do the same to Mrindawa–in the past when all the kingdoms were not united and weak?’

One of the Villagers squeaked, ‘We’re weak?’ But he was ignored.

‘Well, you’re a traitor,’ said one of the humans; ‘you’re fighting against your own people.’

‘You’re not my people!’ snapped Mavis. ‘You’re a disgrace to humans!’

Now, this was enough for the humans to charge at the Mrindawian army in anger.

The battle was furious. Somehow, it didn’t make Mavis nervous. In fact, it made her feel good because it seemed that this would be the last battle.

The war waged on. To the humans’ immense surprise, the Mrindawians didn’t retreat even as night fell, because everyone was getting rest at the small camp that was near the battlefield.

Mavis and Walter tried to take as few breaks as possible, and when they did, it was one by one. This was because, having the most powerful weapons in the world, the Mrindawians needed them to help at war.

Though it was the middle of the night, there was no confusion, because the moon was shining brightly, lighting everything up.

The war went on, and Mavis felt that it would never end. The humans and Mrindawians were obviously equals. To win, the Mrindawians just needed a little more advantage.

There was a sudden deafening screech.

She looked up stunned and realised that a dark figure had broken out of the West Tower. She gasped when she realised it was the Wina who she had healed with Walter’s bandages.

It looked beautiful as it shot across the skies like a jet, its wings cutting through the wind. It had a broken chain tied to one of its hind legs, and Mavis guessed it had broken free of the chains it had been tied to and held down by.

Her blood ran cold when it directed itself to the battlefield and swooped down. She prayed it wasn’t on the humans’ side, in which case the Mrindawians were toast.

She watched the dragon rip a human’s head off and was relieved because that meant the dragon was not hypnotised and on the Mrindawians’ side.

It flew up into the air, landing on the top of one of the towers of the palace. It looked majestic, with its black scales glinting in the moonlight, and its eyes like lamps in the dark.

Everyone on the battlefield was staring at the Wina in horror.

It tilted its head up to the sky and let out an ear-piercing screech.

To Mavis’ amazement, all the dragons that had been hypnotised by the humans collapsed. Everyone nervously watched them stand up again, but this time, not hypnotised.

The Wina had dehypnotised them.

They all tilted their heads up to the sky and joined into the blood-curdling screech, along with the Wina.

The humans were shocked beyond words, horrified at what had just happened. Of course, they still had most of the giants under their power, but the dragons had played a huge role in their army.

The Wina looked beautiful, with the sun steadily rising behind it. The Mrindawians looked at it with respect. They bowed down to their saviour.

The humans were not sure how they were to win this war now. To finish up the job, two armies appeared on the horizon. It was the Kingdom of the Tribes and the Kingdom of the Mountain Elves. The Mountain Elves had started early and had taken a shortcut through the grassland, which was how they got there so early.

The humans knew there was no way they would win now. ‘We surrender,’ they gasped.

It took a while for things to get back to normal.

The giants that had been hypnotised by the humans were dehypnotised and horrified that they had sided with them.

In the war, many Mrindawians had been killed. Memorials had been built for each of them to honour the sacrifice they had made. There were also unsung heroes, like the Wina who had disappeared after the war.

The humans had been captured and sent back to their time with the bronze time machine that had been found in the dungeons of the palace, and the elf that had taken them with it brought it back quickly for Mavis and Walter.

Walter had never gotten the chance to punch Godge on the nose, so the giants brought the Olf to him, and he happily punched him.

The glacier of the River of Doom had been poisoned by the humans, which was why the waters gave you fear. They had done this to eliminate the water source for the kingdoms dependent on the river so that they would surrender. After the rule of the humans had declined, the river was back to normal, and they could drink its waters. It was renamed back to its original name: Milaia.

Thina was crowned king of the giants again, and all the Mrindawians who had come to fight in the war were allowed to stay there for as long as they wished.

Godge had been imprisoned. Not just in any old cell, but in time. He was put in a transparent bubble that was suspended in the air, above the ocean of time. If he tried to break the bubble, he would be sent flying to a random point in time.

What Mavis couldn’t explain was the fact that she and Walter were still alive even after the prophecy stated that they wouldn’t live. When she asked Waina about this, the giantess simply smiled. ‘This means, Mavis, that you and Walter have done something remarkable. Something that broke the prophecy. It means that you create your own destiny.’