Police in Blunderland
ISBN 9789395986748

Highlights

Notes

  

The cop and the bribe

There is a system called “Bharat Darshan” prescribed for all government officers of Group A. This essentially means that during probation, a group of young, idealistic trainees go around the countryside under the guidance of a senior officer of the service to various parts of the country, get acquainted with different cultures, traditions and different systems of administration in different parts of India that is Bharat. Usually, it covers 5/6 states in each route – you meet the Governor, Chief Minister, President/ Prime Minister if your route includes Delhi, Chief Secretary, DGP and so on.

In one of the groups, 21 of my batch, bright – eyed IPS probbies accompanied by a seasoned IPS officer were ushered into the august presence of a particular DGP in a state. Many of the probbies asked probing questions like how to improve the criminal justice delivery system, whether there was life after or outside IPS and so on, when the DGP held out a restraining hand and asked, “Woh sab toh theek hei, yeh bataao, paisa kamana hai ki nahin?” The officers were stunned! The DGP asking this! He amplified, “Nahin, nahin, yeh baat nahin hai. When you join the posting, people will be very curious about you. No matter how much you try to hide anything, within three years of service, everyone will have a very good fix on you. Whether you are trying to be part of the ‘haves’ (read corrupt) or ‘have nots’ (read beggar). If ‘have,’ whether you are a ‘grass – eater’ (Allah ke naam pe kuchh de de) or a ‘man–eater’ (I shall squeeze your neck ever so slowly but with excruciating force until you cough up your last drop) and so on. Point is, if in those crucial three years you have built the reputation of a ‘have not’ and after three years, you want to ‘have’, you can’t. Yeh kambakht reputation tumhe paisa kamane nahin dega. Soch lo. Paisa to kuchh logon ko chahiye hota hai. The time to decide is now.” The probbies didn’t know whether to think of it as some weird sense of humour or a brush with real life.

When I was doing my district training, I was attached to a Police Station. Part of the routine consisted of stopping errant drivers and booking them for traffic violations. One truck driver offered me Rs. 50 for releasing his truck. I was flabbergasted. How dare he try to bribe a senior officer like me? So I started to give him a lecture on the hierarchy in Police. I told him that most of the cops he deals with are Constables and, on his lucky day, probably a Head Constable. Above this rank is an Assistant Sub Inspector who reports to a Sub Inspector who is the BIG GUN, usually called “Bada Babu.” A Sub Inspector is usually in charge of a Police Station. Several Police Stations come under an Inspector. Several Inspectors report to a Dy. S.P. and above Dy. S.P. is a rank of Assistant Superintendent of Police which was roughly where I was. His daring to bribe such a senior officer was mind boggling. The truck driver was suitably chastened and said, “Galti ho gaya sahab. Sau rupaiya (100 rupees) le lijiye.” I was depressed for days. That was the only time I was offered a bribe. Some mistake somewhere in those first three years, probably.

During my first posting as SDPO, Alipurduar, I was staying at a guest house until my predecessor vacated the government quarters. I moved in the day he vacated and then I realised that I needed to have a cot and basic furniture. When I was debating where to go to buy these things on instalment basis, my security guard who was a Constable suggested that since he had a spare cot, he should lend it to me until I made more permanent arrangement. Gradually, it turned out he had spare everything, spare cot, spare dining table, spare TV, spare VCR and so on. When I asked him how he managed to achieve so much at such a young age, he said one single posting at Barobisha and he had gone from “shunya to shikhar” within three months. Barobisha is the check post between West Bengal and Assam. I went back to the subdivision for a holiday three years after leaving it. This same Constable heard about my visit and came to meet me. As a part of small talk, I asked him where he was posted. He said cheerfully that he had been under suspension for about a year on charges of grand corruption …