It is necessary,

Hearing your name.

In whispers and mad rambling.

Necessary to be seen;

In happiness and sorrow alike.

In tears of both joy and sadness.

It is necessary;

To be understood,

Completely and with no filter.

To show someone the parts of ourselves we believe undeserving.

To show someone our scars.

“Show me the valleys in your skin

And I’ll show you rivers that’ll flow through them.”

It is necessary to be vulnerable,

To feel, to cry, to smile and to laugh with no control.

To fight this cold world unalone.

To choose compassion over hatred.

To choose to be kind in a world where one can be anything.

To choose to be better.

I wonder why people do the thing they do?

What compels them?

What makes them act the way they do?

Norms?

Expectations?

Experience?

Isn’t free will a myth in this world?

Is it?

Am I really the master of my will?

I do not wish to be, anymore.

I am just lost again.

And if I am lost then my destination matters not.

And if I am adrift then the end matters not.

It is only the journey, the path I take.

The vistas I see and the trails I cross.

The oceans I conquer and the mountains I brave.

Only the steps I have taken.

In midnight auroras and tireless dreams.

In the blazes of shooting stars and the vapor of my orbit around twilight skies.

And maybe I’d run into you.

And we’d talk and laugh,

And I’d give you my woes and worries.

And you’d fold them into flowers of joy.

Each petal, your love for me.

Don’t you worry, I’ll cherish it.

Protect it, against the wind and rain.

And one day, I’ll give you a flower too.

And there would be no rhyme or reason to it, we’d be together simply because we wanted to.

Plucked from the old rock wall, covered in moss,

Where we grew gardens of love together

If only you knew

The loving envy I feel for you

To laugh so freely

To talk like you do

To live

To be, as you are

To not only see the world’s beauty, but to add to it

A knight in shining armor,

You feel like a dream.

A fantasy I made up,

Lying alone with my thoughts and memories.

You feel like everything I wish I was.

To see cruelty and anger and hatred but to choose to be happy regardless,

To choose to be better to be kinder.

It is that I admire.

In your benevolence and patience,

It is you I think of.

In your silence and beauty

It is you I think of,

Unfiltered, unhidden.

It is you I think of

With me.

I don’t know, somewhere along the way, you became my comfort.

And we’d talk for days.

And as, with words it began,

With words I’d explore you and you’d explore me.

And it would be a better world,

I’d be honest and we’d both be vulnerable,

In silent joy,

We’d create tapestries of compassion together.

We’d weave parts of ourselves into it,

My scars would blend with yours,

My past would melt into yours,

And we’d be happy together.

Finally understood,

I would realize,

This arduous path that is life,

I cannot save you from it.

I cannot take away your pain,

As much as I wish I could.

The path you have chosen is yours alone to take,

I can only walk along with you.

I cannot be the bonfire,

To chase away sorrow’s winter.

But perhaps I can be the lantern,

To spark honesty’s warmth in you.

And I hope you realize one day

All that you’re capable of.

Everything you deserve,

Gentle snowfall in December,

Warm sunlight in May.

And you’ll go far,

These dark nights will just be bad days you remember.

Life is a journey, yes

But even journeys can have breaks in them.

After all,

This path is yours to walk

Choose a path that you would love to travel.

This journey is made up of choices.

So make choices worth making.

It’ll all just be memories soon.

So make memories worth remembering.

Live a life worth living.

Live free as the stars you wish to join in the night sky.

And let them not forget

That you were here.

That you existed.

I hope you realize one day

All that you can be

And all that you are.

And may you be the guiding light

This lonely tribe needs.

It feels like coming home, they said.

Like you’ve been walking your entire life and you can finally rest.

But they lied.

It feels like an alien land,

One of immense beauty and mystery

Every step of the journey,

I find new places of adventure.

The sunlight feels different here,

The people seem kinder.

The sky seem lighter.

Where is it?

This place I find myself?

Like I’m away from my worries

And all my troubles seem insignificant

In contrast to the peace I feel.

And I’ll continue on this journey,

Passing great mountains

And while they bear the vestiges of storms,

They stand tall, still.

And though the land was once scorched,

Flowing valleys grow there now.

This place.

This place far away from where I have been all this time.

It makes me feel as though I’ve been walking my entire life,

And just sat down.

I don’t want to be honest with you.

I don’t wish to tell you the truth.

I’d build a castle of deception,

If it meant you would think highly of me

And I would gladly crown myself

The lord of the lies.

I don’t wish to shed this armor I have developed over the years.

But its hesitation.

Hesitation I feel.

If it’s worth it,

Hiding myself yet again.

I do not wish for you to see

My past, nor my future.

But maybe, we can make the present work together?

Maybe if I stayed right here, in this moment

As the sunlight flows across your face,

Droplets, like gentle whispering.

Maybe if I stayed in your arms a little while longer,

The world would just go away.

The entire room would be filled with light,

How come I never noticed how beautiful you look in amber?

Maybe,

You’d wake up and we would have breakfast together.

We’d be at the table together

And we could be honest.

It’s all right. It’s just me.

All that strength you have?

You can let it down now.

Breathe.

You must understand, my friend.

You’re alive.

You stand on your own two feet,

See with your own two eyes,

This world does not discriminate against willpower.

Yes, adversity and pain are present,

But so is happiness and joy.

Attachment and love.

There exist ballads on all kinds of pain,

But who sings the song of the joy you feel,

When you see a smile across a face you love?

When you are awoken by a familiar voice speaking in your room,

To feel the touch of someone who cares for you as do you for them.

To be in the arms of someone who’s waiting for you,

To hold the hand of someone who has patiently waited to hold yours.

To be with someone

Without deceit,

Without distraction,

Without discretion.

Oh yes,

There are songs on being in love.

Poems on loving someone.

Loving each part of someone as if they’re your own.

To trust them with yourself,

As they trust themselves with you.

To breathe as they do,

And to live as they do.

I see your face every night.

In unchanging beauty.

In unending distance.

A recreation of memory,

Ripples across your visage.

How I long for what I left behind.

I remember a time,

A lifetime ago,

Back when this unbearable weight did not bear down on me.

Back when I hoped one day to meet you

And together we’d forget.

Leave behind our scars and happiness.

Now just memories.

Memories are all that make up my disheveled form.

How foolhardy is this heart of mine,

Wishing against fate.

Hoping against hope.

Ready, once again, to fight the battles that I have lost.

Even as my mind and body rebel,

Begging for the icy calm of oblivion,

My heart burns on.

Perhaps I am more than I realize.

Oh how it longs,

Not for warmth,

Not for agony, not for hatred.

How it longs to struggle.

To struggle and persist against this cold universe.

How it longs to feel in this unfeeling cosmos.

How easily it forgives me.

How dearly I will protect it.

I will do as I must.

But none will corrupt the one part of me.

The part that is warm.

The part that misses and oh how it longs to once again be, human.

Locked in this dance with destiny,

The rifts across your face only grow.

But it seems you have reached the end of the line, traveler.

Perhaps now,

The battle can stop.

Perhaps now,

The crusade you partake in,

Can conclude.

No longer do you need to purge all that you see,

Even if just for a moment.

And it is time now warrior,

Everyone has already left.

Yet you still walk this deserted plain,

Where only your memory keeps you company.

Is this what you wanted?

It is what you have achieved.

So lie now,

Etch these fables into those ancient rock walls.

Let these heroes not be forgotten.

Let their stories not fade with the winds of time,

Into the fleeting land of days past.

So lie still,

In your perfect solitude.

Watch the stars light up the darkness that clouds you so.

May you find that some of their warmth reaches you, too.