Kidnapping Turns Out to be No Easy Task

After flying for two days over the lush green forest, they suddenly felt the vegetation was dying out. They flew over a grassland, a sandy chunk of land, then finally, a vast expanse of barren land.

They decided to land on the ground because if there were trolls in front of them, the trolls would easily spot them if the two were up in the air.

They quietly marched on. They were exhausted, but they didn’t drink any water; they didn’t think it would be very wise if they wasted it.

The horses walked in silence. They were exhausted and oblivious to their surroundings. The Wasteland seemed to be never-ending.

Then they saw what looked like pearly black rocks in the distance. They were jagged and shot out from the ground like an island in the middle of endless nothingness.

As they approached it, the horses started getting more and more alert. Alpha growled softly, perking his ears up.

‘What’s the matter with them?’ asked Mavis, confused.

‘No idea,’ said Walter. ‘We’ll get to the rocks; we might be able to spot the trolls from up there.’

They stopped in front of the pointed rocks jutting out of the pale golden sand. They were a shining black; quite different from the land around them.

The horses were now restless. Peanut Butter and Star reared and nickered, unwilling to move any further.

‘Leave them be,’ said Walter, dismounting Peanut Butter. ‘We’ll come back and get them.’

So, they climbed up the rocks, leaving their animals at the bottom. The rocks were cool compared to the hot ground of the wasteland. They pulled themselves up each pointed rock onto the next one. It was not difficult, but one small slip and it would be the end of them.

Suddenly they heard a bit of talking and froze.

Hide! Walter mouthed from behind Mavis.

She didn’t need to be told that. She frantically crawled to his side and crept behind the rock he was hiding next to.

‘Horrible elves! We would have conquered their land if they hadn’t suddenly launched a surprise attack,’ a voice came.

‘Exactly!’ said another. ‘Honestly, their people hiding in our army–would you believe it?’

‘It would be easy to destroy their army, they told us. But look at us now! We’ve lost half our army, for heaven’s sake!’

‘And now we have to answer to–'

‘Shush! I smell something!’

Mavis and Walter clasped their hands over their mouths so that they wouldn’t make any noise.

The trolls sniffed around to find the source of the smell. Everything was silent for a while, then suddenly one of the trolls shouted out, ‘There’s something behind this rock!’

Before any of the trolls could pull them out from behind the rock, Walter jumped out. ‘Please don’t take us to your cave,’ he said.

In the next five minutes, the trolls had tied Mavis’ and Walter’s hands up and taken their baggage. They saw no use in Alpha, but the horses would be of some use, so they took them. As for the dog, he could have run away at any time. But he was faithful and chose to trot by them. Also because he was hungry and was hoping Mavis would give him something to eat.

‘Why did you do that?’ hissed Mavis.

‘If the trolls capture us, they’ll lead us to their cave, and that’s definitely where they have hidden the time machine they stole,’ Walter whispered back.

It was a good plan, but Mavis was unsure whether it would work. These trolls looked creepy. What if they sacrificed them to the Rain Gods or something?

One of the trolls prodded Walter with a spear. ‘They don’t look like elves. What are they?’

‘Humans,’ hissed the biggest of them. He was the leader: King Kiuna.

‘Humans!’ gasped another troll, turning pale.

‘Yes, humans. I don’t want any of you laying so much a finger on them. They need them alive.’

Mavis noticed that the trolls were gaping at her and Walter. She wondered if it would be wise to tell them it was rude to stare.

‘Where are you taking us?’ she demanded instead.

King Kiuna, the troll leader, gave a raw chuckle. ‘Why would we tell you that? Don’t think we’re so silly.’

‘But what about the ritual?’ piped up Walter. ‘You know, the one on page hundred and two of the law book of the trolls?’

‘Well, there is a ritual,’ said one of the trolls slowly.

Walter nodded his head vigorously. ‘Yes! Yes! There is one. It’s the one where you must stand in a circle around a fire and say the chant, Okka lokka holliyo gahju, and then reveal where you are taking your prisoners.’

Now, trolls are not very bright. The average IQ of a troll is lower than that of an ordangakilatrionupui bird, which spends most of its time summoning the non-existent spirits of bird poop. This tends to get very messy.

Anyway, the horribly low IQ of trolls is what made King Kiuna actually believe everything. He looked horrified. ‘Oh, my! We nearly disobeyed a law! We must perform the ritual.’

All the trolls gathered round in a circle around Mavis and Walter. ‘Okka lokka holliyo gahju,’ they chanted together. ‘Okka lokka holliyo gahju. We are taking you to–'

‘Hey wait a minute!’ one of them shouted. ‘We’re the trolls! We ain’t no law! We ain’t no law book!’

A murmur arose amongst the trolls.

King Kiuna looked furious. ‘Did you think you could trick us?’ he shouted, stepping towards Mavis.

He suddenly picked her up by the collar with a meaty hand.

‘Execute them!’ shouted one of the trolls from the crowd.

‘No!’ screamed Walter. A few trolls grabbed his arms and he struggled to get free.

It seemed that the fact that they were not to be harmed was now forgotten.

Then, unexpectedly, Mavis bit the leader’s hand hard. She sank her teeth into his flesh painfully. He would have screamed in pain, but his people were watching and would decide he was not a worthy king.

He shook her off in case his mouth disobeyed his brain’s orders and cried for Mummy. ‘Silly girl,’ he muttered.

The two trolls holding Walter took the cue and let go of his arms.

‘We must not waste time,’ King Kiuna told the rest of the trolls. Then, without a word, marched away.

‘Are you hurt?’ asked Walter anxiously edging towards Mavis.

‘No,’ she grumbled. ‘But I hope he’s hurt.’ She nodded towards the leader.

When the sun had set, the trolls sat down for a bit of rest.

‘Hey, ‘I’m bored,’ the leader yawned. ‘You there!’ he shouted, prodding the tied-up Mavis with a spade.

‘I want you to tell me a story. Go on, now.’

Mavis was a terrible storyteller. She knew that. She glanced nervously at Walter for help, but what could he do? So, she went ahead and began her story:

Just as these words escaped her mouth, she immediately regretted it. She looked up anxiously at the trolls to see how they would react.

Amazingly, this terrible story amused them. They chuckled softly.

‘Oh, what a wonderful story,’ said the leader, wiping away a tear of admiration. ‘So arty. It starts so slow and gentle, then transforms into a thriller. Wonderful!’

‘It’s a shame we must take you to your doom,’ said one of them sadly. ‘You could come to our kingdom and be a great storyteller.’

Mavis suddenly realised that she could get the trolls to set her free through her stories. ‘Ah, what a splendid idea,’ she said brightly. ‘If you’d just set us free–’

‘Don’t push it,’ grumbled the leader. He yawned, sending the other trolls yawning too.

Mavis and Walter stayed rooted to the spot, not moving an inch, till they heard the loud snoring of the trolls.

‘They’re asleep,’ said Mavis.

‘Took them long,’ grumbled Walter. ‘What now?’

‘It’s obvious,’ shrugged Mavis. ‘We’ll find out where the time machine has been hidden.’

‘How?’

‘By kidnapping one of the trolls. Duh.’

Walter looked doubtful, but he followed her to the spot where the trolls were sleeping.

‘Kidnapping is all about choice,’ said Mavis. ‘You need to know who the weakest is so that you can kidnap.’

‘How do you know all this?’

‘Because I once kidnapped a goat.’

‘What?’

‘Long story. Now don’t ask questions.’

‘What about that one?’ asked Walter pointing to the smallest troll–which was actually pretty big.

‘Hmm . . . let’s see. There’s a skeleton of a rat near him. That means he must’ve eaten it. And it’s pretty hard to find life in a wasteland, so he must be pretty observant. It would be difficult to kidnap him.’

Walter winced at the dead rat and nodded.

‘Now this is who we should kidnap,’ said Mavis pointing to a HUGE troll. He was bigger than even King Kiuna.

Walter stared at her as if she’d gone crazy. ‘Seriously?’

Mavis nodded. ‘Think about it–trolls always choose their leader by strength. If this dude couldn’t defeat him, he must be so weak that he didn’t even try.’

‘Look, that hardly makes sense.’

‘Walter,’ sighed Mavis. ‘Oh, how much you’ve to learn! Kidnapping is all about listening to your gut, not logic.’

‘But you just said–’

Before Walter could react, she shook the troll awake.

He was still half-asleep, so he didn’t realise what the two were trying to do.

‘Hungry,’ he mumbled unconsciously.

‘Hungry,’ agreed Mavis. ‘And I have a lot of food with me. Um . . . rats, and uh . . . more rats!’

‘Hungry!’ The troll allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and dragged away from the rest of the trolls.

When they were out of earshot, Mavis shook him completely awake. He seemed startled to be so far away from the trolls.

‘Don’t make any noise,’ warned Mavis, ‘or I’ll rip your head off and whack you with it.’

Walter wondered where she got such unpleasant thoughts from.

The troll was now trembling. ‘Who–who are you?’

‘Your so-called prisoners,’ growled Mavis. ‘But you poor trolls have made a mistake capturing us. And now you will face the wrath of the, uh, LIGHTNING SPIRITS!’

The troll let out a shriek, and tried to flee, but was stopped by Walter.

‘Don’t eat me!’ begged the troll.

‘But we are very hungry,’ said Mavis in a creepy voice.

‘I’ll give you all your food and water back!’

‘Then do that!’

The troll scurried away, and in a few minutes, returned with a heavy load of baggage.

‘Here!’ he squeaked.

‘It is not enough,’ declared Walter. ‘We are hungry for power! Tell us where the time machine is!’

‘No, please, just not that!’

‘Then we’ll have to eat you.’

‘Th–the giants have it.’

‘Where do they live?’

‘West from here.’

‘Untie our hands!’

‘M–maybe tomorrow, or next week, or–’

’JUST DO AS I SAY!’

The troll quickly untied their hands.

‘BEGONE!’ bellowed Mavis, banging her staff on the ground

The troll yelped and fled.

‘Phew!’ said Mavis ‘That was easy! I can’t believe that troll actually believed we were going to eat him!’

‘And he said we needed to go west to find the giants. Shouldn’t be too hard, I’m sure.’

‘But, um, which way is west?’

‘We need to know which direction the sun will rise, first.’

‘It’s the middle of the night.’

‘Then we’ll have to wait till morning.’

Mavis stared. ‘We can’t stay here any longer! If that troll goes and raises the alarm–'

‘Listen,’ said Walter calmly. Our horses are sleeping there, and they’re tied to that rock. Let’s get them, and fly away from the trolls first–as far away as possible. In the morning, after the sun rises, we’ll go west.’

It was a terrible plan, but better than nothing.

Mavis ran towards the sleeping trolls.

The troll they had frightened was trying to wake them up. ‘Wake up! The prisoners are escaping–there’s one!’

He pointed towards Mavis.

All the trolls turned to her.

Before they could react, she bellowed, ‘YOU HAVE ANGERED THE LIGHTNING SPIRITS! PREPARE TO MEET THY DOOM!’

They stopped for a split second and hesitated.

Mavis pulled out her staff–or Spark, as she now called it, and aimed the weapon at the sky. It flickered weakly.

‘BACK OFF!’ she shouted. ‘OR I WILL UNLEASH THE FULL POWER OF THE SKY UPON YOU WITH MY STAFF OF LIGHTNING!’

‘They’re lightning spirits?’ squeaked a troll. ‘B-but aren’t they the Destroyers?’

‘They’re both!’ wailed another. ‘They’re going to take down the Giant Empire with their powers!’

The trolls began to shriek and started running around to avoid the lightning.

Mavis tried not to smirk and dashed over to the horses.

They whined when she approached them. They hadn’t eaten since the trolls had captured them and were starving. They were tied to a rock with a thick rope around their necks.

Mavis tried to untie them, but there were too many knots, and she wasn’t quick enough.

She picked up a sharp rock and started vigorously sawing the rope. The rope was strong, but the rock sawed through it completely, till the horses were not bound anymore. They looked dazed and had red marks on their necks, where the ropes had been tied.

Mavis hated to make them run, but did she have a choice?

She leapt onto Star’s back and was just about to tug the reins when she realised Alpha wasn’t there.

‘Alpha!’ she hollered, and the black dog came running out of nowhere and leapt into her arms.

She pulled at Star’s reins, and the horse galloped away, followed by Peanut Butter.

They galloped towards Walter, who was waiting for them.

As they ran, he jumped onto Peanut Butter’s back with a flying leap.

Then, the horses spread out their wings, and took to the skies, leaving behind the Trolls, who were running around in circles, screaming, ‘I WANT MY MOMMY!’