I don’t recall what time it was when you turned to me and smiled on the edge of that lake, but I do know my heart paused in the centre of my chest when you did.

I have a hard time remembering where the sun was sitting in the cloudless sky, sometime in July, when you put your hand on mine and gently mouthed, “I love you.” Your words an elixir that tingled my spine.

Had the night creeped in and the stars aligned when your presence was made known to this bleeding world?

I cannot be sure but certainly it changed my mind on

the meaning of my mine.

I recall the day, as if yesterday, but never the exact second of that last breath expelled from your tired lungs. But I can remember the smell of the room and the withering flowers ironically arranged beside a stack of “Get Well Soon-s.”

I believe it was early spring when I closed the door, my hand leaving a world to which I could not return. The end of one life yet the beginning of another I would never have chosen if I hadn’t longed for peace.

And so I learned that this life cannot be measured in the minutes I have existed but felt most deeply in the moments that have made me swell and cry, break and die to the ways in which I thought it would be forever.

I live for the moments now. I collect them like rare stones and carry them in my pocket for when my body begins to wear and thin, I will reach down and twirl them between aching fingers and will remember this life for everything it was meant to be… A time just for me.